he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
