I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
