belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
