Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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