I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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