i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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