he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
