Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Please, let me fuck your mom
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
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