how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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