I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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