I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
