Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
