Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
