ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
