Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize