we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
