i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize