Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
