Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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