wanna go halves on a baby?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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