just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
