He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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