Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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