How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize