dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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