You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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