Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Randomize
