You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
