i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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