is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
