I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
there is puke in my bra ... again
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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