I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
