people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
