his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
