i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
