Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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