The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
