PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize