Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
