Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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