i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
