Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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