I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
