five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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