Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
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Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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