Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize