Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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