I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
