The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
is that a dick in a sweater?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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