tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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