Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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