forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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