What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
