roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
