As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
