You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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