I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
