he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
tell me about the fingering
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize