The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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