Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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