My brain says no but my pants say off.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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