that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
