Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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